Woke up and had a silent prayer, I never thought i would see together again after that i did. I thanked god for giving me a chance to live on and will try and be strong still. I wil admit I stil have the thought of dying, im still upset at everywhere I go, yet i think myself for having this life....back?
I headed out to meet well the last person anyone would expect I would, Grace. We're just friends now tho there are still really small awkward moments, but i can honestly say when I was dating a month back that i do not have Grace on my mind. That at least i have answered for myself. Anyways! I returned her the camera while passing to her well (only she knows) if you want know go ask her larh! Thanks so much for the camera it helped me a lot! We had lunch at business while having an awesome kwey teow with chilli and prawns (my 2 worse do not eat stuff), something is really wrong with me today you will find out more as you read on. I was like eh? i ate chilli and im okay with it leh i dun usually eat it while Grace just got to rub it in im missing out in life. =( WA LAU EHHHH. Was an awesome time i didnt think i would ever have, to have lunch just as friends while chatting and smiling even after doing so much for the past 6 years. Maybe this was the plan God gave me?
Then i dragged my feet to the dreaded Mei Sin's class, and while waiting I just tried doing my required work. I initially planned not to go for her classes anymore and tell Julian I'm pulling out of this class at least (I planned to drop out of school initially but many said i admit is a rash decision) because I do not feel emotionally ready and stable yet, especially when Mei Sin is a rude, weird and totally CRAZY teacher. In fact she stepped on my foot when I am trying my very best to be nice and poilte to her. In just a 3 hour class my class must have cursed on Twitter a lot ot times as well. Her are some of the things she offended me for already MAJOR ones, ive not included minor ones of her being rude.
1. Me feeling really upset half an hour before class and cried till i dozed off at the lecturers table, she came in and scolded me (she must be blind unable to see i was crying like shit i guess) and scolded me to get lost, I said sorry and she continue scolding me. In an anxious state i left my glasses on the table and went to my seat when she sarcastically said I dont need your glasses, i really felt like break down again.
2. After what happened yesterday, mum has been extra worried about me and so i have no idea when certain number call in would be her checking on me. Apparently an unknown number called and so i picked it up just in case, it turns out its something important from Recognized a so I listened on while telling him to call me back later as i know some bomb will explode, Nick was confused as to what is going on and didnt hang up and TADDA BOOM! She came and screamed and tried to take my phone away till i apologized IN HER FACE then she let go. I CANT BELIEVE SHE HAD TO HANDLE MY THINGS THIS WAY AND NOT MY CHARGER IS SLANTED.
At the end of the class she told me not to use my phone again rather rudely and so I tried telling my situation im facing, but guess what when i said its because(yep jsut 2 words) she say she dun give a damn and just went off. HOW RUDE!
3. As i wanted to start on my research and didnt not want to sit there, neither do i dare to start in case things are not to her liking. I raised my hands politely to wanting to ask her about my thesis statement, she shut me up for no valid reason(trust me i never talk in class at all so the reason cant be i talked to much like the past) and ignored me till 2 students later WTF?
Btw if you think its just me and my classmates, you are wrong. There was a italian lecturer who came and asked her politely to leave the computer on so he could use it and she used sarcasm and rudely replied saying things like i cant let you use my account and stuff and the italian teacher went out FAST to avoid her. and guess what she turned off the computer still =.= talk about upbringing huh bitch? Tho i did had a pretty good bitching session with the italian teacher about what a weirdo she was, he hate her too, i told him i cant stand her as well. we had a mutual smile and hatered for her hahaha.
Nothing much happened during CDS apart from me buying a lot of food and had a picnic session, the CDS book was sold out so i got to get it tml and it was hard to understnad the class without it. The lecturer is really lively and joking around so yeah im fine with that guy, so i put my phone aside and tried listening.
After that i went to meet Ping Hwee at Ehub. We had tea at Macs while talking about well both RS issues and slalom ideas and stuff to help my competition. He really is a great international slalom judge and I learnt a lot. but we met up more of as friends to catch up. And after that we went for pool, which.....i lost all games despite improving a little in it hahas. went back to Mac to discuss about *secret plan MUAHAHHHAA* before heading out fo look at some places and lepak. (forget to add some really young but really pretty *confession* girl came in as we are leaving. And i started disturbing PH. HAHAHAS ok it was me talking about the girl more then him and im thinkg WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! I must have went siao already keep talking about a girl we saaw for 2 secs. Last warning leonard! and i just foud out ph is gashapon siao....her spend $6 on it just turning and getting what he wants and take photo (go facebook see, im tagged in it)
So yeah after that walked home with a flat battery in my phone only to see a lot of stuff happening on my twitter, HAIS! just as im feeling better something have to try and pull me down again =/ just pray things will be better tml. and i still wonder what happened. Well maybe tml will be the answer then! its 5am now so i shall go and sleep, visit the doctor later.
Thank you God for today, I'll not forget the promise I made to you yesterday. PS. same wish as i pray everynight, give her the best of strength and knowledge and focus for her papers. I feel terrible for affecting her during such a crucial period and when I want her to go poly still. I tried my best to make things better but its just making me worse so grant me wisdom to make what is wrong right. =)
and last of all thanks Nichole and Wendi for texting me so much today, i feel better thanks to you all and the words of encouragement, ill stand by your sides when you all need me too okay. When i say i treat those i still care about as true friend i really mean it, just dont break it and it will be perfect when both parties trust one another to not hurt each other and be there.
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