clarity

now I got the eyes to see who you are, now I got the heart to be cold blooded. The society is nothing more then just facades where we hide who we really are, i see no point I should show that I care and trust you and should hide it. Ive stood by you every possible time i could, but it seems you dont need it given then attention you are already getting from others. You have options who to love so do I, I just made the wrong option to give it to the you i guess. You just had no idea how much I loved you....which is everything i have. You choose to take it and trash it aside saying to be friends which your actions tell otherwise. if my friend didnt geh kiang try and help me after i lost my phone. and smsed you without telling me and in the end show me what you said...I will have never know what kind of person you really are. Only saying to take me as a friend but actions speak otherwise. You would have done something if you really cared for me even as a friend. im just really disappointed of you

I know I was at fault and did everything i could to make things right, im tired of trying and waiting. Since you want it dead I will try my best to make it dead. It is not dead yet, im not strong enough to do so but I'm slowly learning to be cold blooded. Looking back at my actions I have no idea why did i do it at the expense of my physical and emotional well being. My emotions affected everyone who REALLY did care for me. I dont want to affect them anymore. Looking back at my actions the things i did out of pure good will....

Can't believe my gastric came back and burnt 2 holes in my stomach just skipping all my meals, yes ALL and survived on water cooler just to save up and bought the shoes even knowing its not the original price, I just knew you needed more money. The pain my stomach took every day was really hell for me, you just didnt know. I didnt say. Neither would you care I guess.

When Natasha passed me the shoes, the G-shock bag showed you took the watch the other guy bought for you, I'm disappointed. Looking at the watch I picked for you, I have just spent worthless money, its okay I'll just wear it for my own. It is a beauty.

No point going back in time more to even more silly things i did, i really is in love with you. You just didnt care and so I will really pull back. If you do change your mind and come back ill still be here, but for now I'm tired of giving, as someone who really cared/loved/worry/miss you as a ex/friend. Not like you will come back though, you are giving your feelings away to other guys who dont care for you as well from what I am seeing (im jumping to conclusions, because you didnt bother explaining.)

its not the end, i still yet....i still place trust in you. you promised to be there for my competition back then, i hope you would keep your words.