Today I felt i failed in life, at every aspect especially after giving everything and made the worse decision. I tried to suicide by locking all doors and windows while i turned on the gas. things started to be heavy and i was falling asleep when i heard a voice asking me to get back up and turn off the gas. I could not move anymore and was really drowsy so i ignored it, then i heard another voice in my head, that same voice telling me, he have heard all my prayers for her and knows i care for her but there is a reason why he is doing what is happening now and said 'I want you to live on and protect her. Leonard be strong so you can do it'(I frankly wasnt very sure what i heard but it was on that line i was in a daze) that was unforgettable, then i heard my house key outside and my parents came back. They came back early and saw the mess i was in. i cried...a lot idk because i failed or coz it was one of the miracle encounters i have. Apparantly my parents decided to come home early coz my mum said she felt something wrong. I feel ive disappointed her a lot after all that she has done. I felt really weak, no longer that strong character i used to be and we had a heart to heart talk because she said there really is something wrong with me. And told me they will send me to the doctor on Tuesday saying I need help, I agreed knowing i need the help too.
im still feeling very weak now, but my encounter with you my load has shown the love you have for me. if you want me to continue and protect her, please help me make things easier. remove that barrier we have. or rather i have created. i will complete that wish, and bless her for her papers, I can see she really is trying so give her that chance. make her happier then i can possibly do then, get her the correct guy and not a jerk like me.
make me stronger as well...unless this is your way of doing it...
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