Before I go

Baby...as I've told you I have to leave for Japan till 4th October. Even tho i have not left yet, but I can already feel how much I would miss you when I am there. Silly Dolphin lets just take this as a test and a blessing in disguise as you work hard for your dance.

Just these few days, your eyes and tone has shown much sadness and I wish I can be with you here more to help you solve your problems. Hugging you when you need me most. Remember what I say 'when one tries to make you sad or angry, you should instead smile and continue being happy. Thats the best way of punching the person who tries to hurt you back and that feeling is SWEET!' If this does not work, just look through all the photos and think about the time we spend together, those long hugs and kisses. Think about that first night which make us get together as we sat at the rink how you tickled me, how we held hands and unknowingly interlock them, the time we look at the beautiful red sky threatening to rain but held back as to show us its beauty and blessing us to spend more time together and not end it by raining, how we sat and talked and watched funny videos on our phones as we enjoyed the breeze. Like how i will on my days in Japan. Especially just cuddling with you.

Remember to look after yourself emotionally and physically and baby please dont skip meals. Read this everytime you think of me, be strong! I believe we will be STRONGER! CLOSER! then how we are now when I am back. I await my landing back in Singapore. Baby...(4 Oct (Tues) SQ655 Fukuoka → Singapore 10:15 → 15:25) Hope to see you when I am back. Anything text my brother to ask him okay.

<3

feel like producing a video yet not really in the best of mood to edit.



Also managed to have some nice photo. *happy boy*

mini test?

just like this and 6 days have passed, and if you realised we meet everyday! the time was most memorable in the 18 years of my life and ive never regretted for a second of any silly things i do just for you. Baobei jia you for Prelim okay! You got thru N cfm can go past O de. I really hope you can join me at TP, but overall....its still your choice on which path to take. and i will support you all the way.

Its surely upsetting I wunt be able to see you for the next few days due to papers and i pray our feelings will still stay strong. Baby i know u reading this. lets just take it as a small test since we can still webcam, call, sms. =) must prepare for when im in Japan and totally cannot contact you right?

and please please please dont cry. i will sad also de. jiayou okay! <3 and hug you asap.

To you

Hey, a fool like this blogger here deserves a change too right? Jessica ure special to me. I know here contains much of my memory. But every word I tell you. The time we spent, its all trust. I stand by my words as a man that I'm not making use of you to get over her. Please give me a chance to prove this.

why i do what i do

im seeing you tomorrow and somehow the excitement no long sinks in like how it used to every years. this pain, sinks in the moment i think about you.

'happy boy today?' makes me sound like im all the time emotional. which i am, even when i try my best to smile. i lied that i had the rest i needed, im just trying my best to connect back with you. i still want you. even after trying to let go. after saying i did. i am so afraid to move on, so afraid to look at a girl in her eyes in case i have a temperamental likeness for her. I got to wait until i fall into friend zone before i could look at them in the eye. im really afraid to have feelings for another. because i know when likeness comes, its either rejection or i come to realise i am still in love with you. still remember 'if you are in love with me all this years, why did you get into other relationships?'

have you ever thought why you would ask me such questions? do i really want to be upset all the time? who made me this way, why did you believe his story back then and look at the pathetic state i am in now. you are really selfish you know that?

I really want the truth, one is telling me you are with im while some says ure not. im in such confusion who to trust. am i really your friend you claim you want to be with in the sms you sent on my birthday, till we are old and grey? i got to carry this pain and burden till my grave? because even what they say, i am feeling it now. im just for you to make use of when you need my help.

i really want to move on, and get with another girl without second thoughts. so tell me am i just a tool, a friend or is it even possible between us. I really cant take it anymore. I really want to end myself. i dont wanna think anymore, i dont wanna feel. my life has lost its path of direction.